So relations have soured and you feel like you want to leave and start fresh. Several days ago, two of my most respected and trusted colleagues left with almost no word or reason why. It was a surprise to many people. One of them had done it before and to be quite honest and open, I had a feeling that person would leave again. The second was a real true surprise because I honestly had no idea.
Before you GQuit, I’m asking you do one really important thing.
Talk to your GM
As much as your feelings may be overtly obvious to you, it isn’t to anyone else. Not every GM is psychic. You cannot expect things to happen if there is no idea nor awareness. It’s unfair to expect your leadership to understand you inside and out. Pick a time and a date and talk to your GM about it.
Let your leadership know of your problem
Let me make clear that I have no problem with anyone leaving the Guild. You’re paying your 15 bucks a month to play this game. It’s your right. The fact is, you and your Guild got this far together. If you have a problem with someone or an issue with a system, let your leaders know. Speak up about it. If you don’t say or mention anything, then nothing will get changed.
It’s like people who complain about the Government and don’t vote. By not voting, you’ve forfeited your right to complain.
A month ago, another colleague of mine left. But he did it the right way. He expressed his misgivings and it was clear that the Guild progression rate was not enough to satisfy him. That’s okay. That can’t really be solved unless by some miracle. There are always going to be people like that in this game where everything isn’t going to be enough. At least he was mature enough to be kind and forward about it.
Don’t lie or deny
If it’s plainly obvious that you’re dissatisfied because you’ve been silently mentioning your problems to other people, then don’t deny it when your GM gets wind of it and asks you up front if everything is okay.
If you have an issue with the way loot is handled, then for cryin’ out loud speak up. I’ve BEEN an officer before. I’m a grunt right now. I like being a grunt because I don’t have to be the poor guy stuck dealing with brushfires week. I can tell you nothing is more frustrating then not knowing what the issue is.
“Avoiding Drama”
I’ve had issues and problems with people and systems before. In the past, I would have quit overnight too to “avoid drama”. Upon further reflection, I realized I was just sugarcoating the answer. I didn’t want to avoid drama. I wanted to avoid confrontation. I didn’t have the guts or the courage to speak up. That’s why I used the drama avoiding excuse to ease my conscience. I’m doing it for the “good of the Guild” right? Can’t they respect the fact that my leaving overnight will save the Guild trouble in the long run? No, they can’t because you left them hanging. You quit without saying why.
Ever since I was an officer in my past Guilds, I realized what a pain in the ass excuse that was. My heart goes out to every GM and officer on the planet who knows what I’m talking about. It’s a tough job to have such unrealistic expectations placed upon your shoulders and that makes this game less fun.
Do it the right way
So you finished speaking to your GM about it and have explored every possible solution. There’s nothing more anyone else can do. Be classy about it at least. You can leave your Guild the same way you entered it: with your pride and dignity intact.
Common and recommended excuses
- Looking for a new direction:
The goals of this Guild no longer coincide with my personal goals (IE, not moving fast enough, moving too fast, SEE YA) - Personal problems
I’m having problems working with various aspects of the Guild and I’m no longer able to handle the stress along with school/work (IE, this guys a jackass) - Raid times
I’m losing sleep over raiding and it’s screwing up my schedule so I’m going to leave to find a new Guild that can fit it (IE, can’t raid at midnight anymore)
How you do it is entirely up to you. When I left Angelic Advocates, I posted a long and lengthy explanation on the forums explaining my problem. I left that Guild because I could no longer commit to their raiding times. When I left Aurora, it was right after a raid on a monday before the reset. I went from vent channel to vent channel explaining that I was leaving. I was no longer satisfied with the direction the Guild was going in and I received a contract offer to sign with Carnage (an organization I am still a part of to this day).
In regards to the 2 that left, I’m not angry at them. It’s worse. I’m disappointed at them.
It’s really so important to talk to the GM or at least the officers. As one of the highest-ranked officers of a guild with 100+ people, I’ve seen so many people who will randomly /gquit without saying a word. Whispers sent to them will usually reveal something like “Well I was feeling ignored” or “Well I didn’t like so-and-so” and it’s just too bad that they didn’t talk to people who could have possibly done something about it, instead of just going and quitting.
The “feeling ignored” thing actually seems to be rather common, much to my chagrin; honestly if you’re in a big guild and you log on and five people are in an instance, five people are in battlegrounds, and the other five people are mid-heated-conversation, and people don’t greet you within ten seconds, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being ignored and justify a gquit. *sighs* But that’s a rant for another day!
We recently had a small exodus from our guild. A few left the right way. Others didn’t and friendships were broken because of it.
One that left the wrong way waited until after a raid one week. He got his boss drop and badges, then early the next morning he gquit. When asked about it, he said that he wanted to raid on his shaman, and since our guild was short on healers we always needed him on his holy pally. Well, the next day we /who him, and he’s raiding with a new guild… on his holy pally. Any friends that he left behind in our guild were now ticked off at his lies, so he’s lost some long time acquaintances.
As a GM, though, I’ve learned that when someone brings you a complaint, it is often pointless to try and “fix” the problem. In my guild, in nearly every case when someone has come to me with a beef about something and I made an effort to rectify the problem, that person left the guild anyway. Thus I made a change to a policy, STILL lost the guild member, and now the new policy has created a new set of problems with other members.
By the time the person is upset enough to approach the leaders, its often too late to do anything but wish them well as they leave.
This post is dead on. I was going to say that I wish I wrote it, but in fact, I’m glad I *didn’t* write it, because that would mean I’d had another week of dealing with guild drama.
If someone leaves without saying anything, as an officer, I’m going to have to track them down anyway to find out what the deal is so that I can let the other forty people online who just saw them quit know. Don’t /gquit for attention, and for god’s sake, say something in /g or in a private tell before you go. It’s just common courtesy.
Matt you always write some the most interesting stuff. So i’m glad you wrote this piece because its something that at some point will affect everyone that plays this game long enough.
Another reason I’m glad you wrote it is because now it saves me from writing it but you can write it soo much better. So now I don’t have to write this piece ever. But i may link it in a post on my blog relating to it.
I remembered when i joined and left the first real guild i ever really joined with others at 70 over a month ago “Ascention” But of course i write all that on my blog too so if you read you knew it. I remember when i felt it just was not the right place for me though the guild was a great guild and doing well. They were doing fine in Kara and had great people. However i just felt there was not a place for me there with 10+ Tanks.
I knew most the officers because heck i classic PuG’d with them all in 5 mans when i was unguilded. When i came to my decision I /w the GM and had a few min conversation about my decision and that i was planning on leaving and that i had though about it and was firm in my decision. He was sad to see me go. But i explained why i was making the decision to leave and letting him know. I had enough class not to just /gquit or stealth quit or whatever kind of quit you can call it. He understood my position and point because the guild did have a ton of tanks. So i told him i’ll take my chances and find some other place where i could make a difference and that they be just fine without me.
The GM understood. But before i also left that same night I also announces it in Guild Chat that i was also leaving to the rest of the guild. Though i wasn’t well know or popular in the guild I knew most the top people by having instanced with them and they knew me by reputation. So I said good by to all in Guild Chat and that i had talked to the GM already so he was already aware of my decision. Wasn’t like i was leaving the server because i explained i’ll still run into some of them from time to time and if they needed help they could ask.
I left after that but i guess in the end I Left The RIght Way with common courtesy to my then guildmates and with my dignity. I even had the screenshots though i never displayed them in my posts.
Thanks for this post, Matticus! I recently had a couple of people leave my guild, neither of whom followed any of these guidelines, and it was a pretty unpleasant and emotional situation for me, as one of them later said it was because I said “mean” things to other people in the guild.
Never talking about problems with people and not working them out is really frustrating to someone in guild leadership, and the person left basically tore a gaping hole in the guild when they did. It’s hard not to take things like that personally when they happen. 🙁
Something like this should be in every guild’s guidelines to encourage openness and constructive feedback.
Most people mumble to themselves or couple close friends about the problems or their unsatisfied expectations about the guild. And then they just leave. Some even do the sneak gquit, leaving when no-one is online.
Think if you wouldn’t talk about problems you have at work and just quit there (if you could just leave that is), that would be rather stupid, right? If you gotta move on (change jobs), you talk to your boss about it, so do it at WoW too.
Yes, WoW is only a game and being in a guild is not a job in that sence, but there’s some analogy there I think.
I’d definitely say communication is key. My guild has had a little drama lately with a reorganization and I was one of the people not sure I wanted to stick with the guild. It’s a strong RP guild and I wanted to do more team things. BG’s, instances and raiding. I spoke with the guild leaders, got assurances that things were changing. And last night got to do my first Kara run with the guild. I’d say it’s worked out very well.
Todate: I don’t think that anyone has left my previous guild on a ‘happy’ note. I thought I did the right thing, withdrew gradually from things that were upsetting me: Except maybe I should have posted my reasons for leaving on our General forum after, if only to discourage rumour, and set my side of the story right.. But leaving was seen to be personal, and It wasn’t it just was time for so many reasons. In sentiment, what you have outlined is very reasonable as to steps to take to leave, but relys on the other party to be reasonable too.
I completely agree with this. And not just in-game either. RL I am a department supervisor, and I tell people all the time, if you don’t tell me something is wrong, I am not going to know I need to fix it! Open communication between the members and officers is a M U S T. Even if you know there’s nothing that can be done to fix the problem, people are going to be a lot more hurt and confused at a silent gquit, especially that they didn’t even get a chance to try to help you before you decided you were fed up. Thanks for this post, Matticus 🙂
I am an officer in a small guild on Nagrand. My friend got given the GMship of it a few months ago and invited us in. Us being a group of about 7 people — this was good cause it gave us a place other than amandine channel (no no i’m not egotistical at all) to chat in But the downside was I think we may have changed the otne of the guild a bit when we came in. One of the old officer would hardly ever speak to anyone in the guild, and then one day she invites one of her friends in and then /gquits and hour later with no explanation as to why.
We had done our best to include her in 5mans and so forth but I guess we broke her guild; which I feel a bit guilty about.
Mind you that was a more pleasant situation than when I got assigned to Discuss with a friend Issues the Guild had…