10 Reasons Horde is Better


This is Joveta’s Week 2 Submission

I’m sorry (no, not really), but it’s true.  Alliance, you’ve got a lot of nifty things, but when it comes down to it, Horde has you beat hands-down.




Ogre Loin Cloths

loin-anaughtybear You just wish you had a quest that let you dig up a Ripped Ogre Loincloth.  Alliance, you may have a cutesy pet in Feralas, but Horde gets fashion.  Alternate recommendation for those in the audience saying to themselves, “But Jove…  Why would I want a gray item?”  Simple!  Slap an armor kit on one of these babies and give ’em to your tanks to combat healer boredom during trash pulls.  Fashionable and useful!



zeppelin-arthouseparty(net) I don’t know about you, but I like a little variety in my transportation.  Alliance,  you’ve got gryphons and boats.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with utility, but in addition to wyverns and boats, Horde gets Zeppelins.  It’s an attractive way to cross the ocean without that pesky seasickness, plus it’s character-building to participate in anything created by goblins and engineers;  you never know when it might blow up in your face.



Thrall-orcyish He is the Warchief.  Not only is he a kick-butt shammy who can chain lightning your face into the dirt, in the past, he’s been spotted riding a pally horse and getting his mack on with two cute blonde humans at the same time.  Who does Alliance have who can compete?  Definitely not…


Fandral Staghelm

Staghelm-zenvirus Related to the above, we hordies can actually kill that @$%%!# Staghelm up in his tree in Darnassus.  Alliance just gets to fantasize about it.  Isn’t that just like an “I win” button right there?



The Men

Sorry, Alliance.  Your options are “short and creepy” or “gorilla.”  Horde men have  actual variety in shape and appearance, and as such present something for everyone.  Like green and well-muscled?  We have orcs.  Tall and blue?  Trolls win, and have an awesome dance to boot.  Fur?  Taurens, if that’s your thing.  Like something you can go shopping with?  Blood elves are beautiful and can also give you hair-care advice.  Prefer your men deep and gothy?  Undead.  (Also, why is the Alliance trapped in a VH1 “I love the…” special when it comes to dances?  Horde men at least are in the correct century.)


Silvermoon City

Oh Silvermoon City, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways… 

Face it, Silvermoon is what every city wishes it could be.  It’s awesome enough, it deserves it’s own list.

If one is good, two is twice as good

Twice the banks and auction houses, twice as good, right?  That’s right, folks.  Silvermoon is the only city with dual banks and auction houses.  I’m sorry, Alliance, you’re stuck with just the one per town.

Mailboxes to infinity

mailbox Have you counted the mailboxes in Silvermoon?  There are  approximately 15-billion.  Unlike all those other towns where you literally need to “run to the mailbox” (of which you can choose between 2 or 3) in Silvermoon, one is never more than 25-feet away.  Goblins totally deliver faster there, too.

It’s clean and pretty

Not only was it planned by an architect with an eye for appearances, magic keeps the streets clean 24/7.  Enough said.


None of your cities has a rock band in residence.  Silvermoon does. 

Quality cyborz

Because it must be mentioned…  When it comes time to settle down and engage in some romantic interlude with your sweetie, which do you prefer?  A quiet inn off the beaten track, sumptuously decorated and lovely?  Or Goldshire, a ratty, falling-down, decrepit and noisy place with dingy sheets and bedbugs?

Got any additions to the awesome?  Any alliance want to come take me down a peg and try to prove me wrong?

27 thoughts on “10 Reasons Horde is Better”

  1. @ Aylii — Believe me, I know. I’m on an RP server, so I -had- to include it. 😉

    @ Drotara — Nothing like the smell of brimstone in the morning. Okay, I’ll grant you, Undercity discovers smells previously unknown to mankind… But once you’re out of the city, it’s relatively normal. Try to escape the smell of Ironforge and, well, I hope you brought your winter woolens or you’re going to freeze your patootie off.

  2. Ogre Loin Cloths: Sorry, jock itch powder not included.

    Zeppelins: AIRsickness. Bags…not included.

    Thrall: He’s an orc. He’s green. This is good??

    Fandral Staghelm: *sigh* You win. 🙁 OHhhhh how I wish I could kill that supercilious bastige.

    Silvermoon City? Bah! What about The Exodar? Such a maze, it’s a game within a game!! (True story: Followed a Horde raiding party around in there one time. They kept going in the same circle, and it was clear they were totally and thoroughly lost.)

    Kestrels last blog post..Meme: Where Were You When You Heard About…?

  3. Much as it pains me, since my characters are primarily Alliance, I have to grant you Silvermoon City. It’s easily my favourite. But then, most of my Horde characters are Blood Elves, anyway (with the occasional troll).

  4. I liked this post a lot, but I feel compelled to point something out–I only count 6 reasons!

    I think that numbering is a good thing in this situations, to separate out the list items from sub-items XD

  5. @ Athryn — Bring it! 😀

    @ Veleda — Again with the agreeing; I love it when Alliance agrees with me on this 😉

    @ Sydera — That’s only because you deny the greatness that is Silvermoon City. >.>

  6. Oh, I thought those were sub-points to point #6.

    And I looked through my old screenshots and I have pics of myself and my boyfriend making rude gestures at Fandral Staghelm.

  7. @ Isis — Whee!

    @ Sydera — Well, teeeeeeeeechnically they’re sub-points. But in reality, they’re too awesome to not be counted. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it >.>

  8. 100% agree! For the Horde!

    As orc, I am not sure I can agree with the Silvermoon worship, though I wish that Undercity had gotten at least 2 of the 15 billion mailboxes that Silvermoon has on every streetcorner.

    However, I am totally behind the Thrall worship. What young hordeling is not overwhelmed when you first meet him and he greets you with ‘Lok’Tar, friend. Have you come to serve the Horde?’ Take that, King Magni, Fandral Staghelm and all you other non-loyalty inspiring alliance leaders out there!

    Kadomis last blog post..Heroics order part III: the hard ones

  9. I agree with u 99 percent there is more things but i like allience classes better and i hate the undead because the bones are always showing and it makes the outfits look sloppy. and allience looks more nice and the only race i like on horde is allience

  10. Oh my gosh!! I was NE Druid until I roled a Troll Huntress…. And Bam!!! I fell in love with the Male Taurens. Horde is much better. I now now have 5 Horde toons and 1 Alliance. The only toons that bug me are the BE’s. I do have a BE Rogue (w/Black hair) But I am still distracted by a statueisc Tauren sitting on his mighty stead infront of the AH guarding the daily transactions (there are two regulars on my server) Though lately my new distraction has become a Orc Warrior.
    Hey have you ever noticed that, besides the BE, all male Horde toons are bent over at the shoulders a bit? Hmmm

  11. ally is the same things as horde but they is just peaple.i meean theyre mucth mooe on pvp i guess its moore popular to be a cow or dead human^^

  12. Gnome – The soccer ball used in this year’s World Cup.

    Dwarf – Best race of alliance. Strong and beer-drinking.

    Tauren – Best race of the Horde and best race ever. nuff said.

  13. Cata hurt your case. Thrall is no longer single or Horde or Warchief. Zeps are horrid and provide easy bombs for enemies. See the invasion of Gilneas. You brought goblins on board. I guess if you enjoy colors and nasty smelling people Horde is okay. SMC??? Seriously easily the least visited city on both sides. Staghelm is locked up. A loin cloth? That’s all that is left. 😉 In all honesty, it’s preference.


Leave a Comment