Dear Lodur, a Valentine’s Day Post.

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Welcome to the first edition of Dear Lodur, a column where people can ask me questions anonymously and get advice.   It seemed fitting that this inaugural post of Dear Lodur is centered around Love is in the Air, the wonderful (or heartbreaking) festival in Azeroth. With so many people swept off their feet of left sobbing in the streets, who would be a better Draenei to ask for help than Lodur?

Dear Lodur,

I’m a prot paladin and I think that my girlfriend is cheating on me. Lately she’s been healing an offtank (a feral druid!) on Patchwerk more than me and I’m the MT! She’s not responsive to my tells and she just doesn’t seem interested in healing me anymore. Should I be worried? What should I do?

Thanks,

Worried in the Construct Wing

Dear Worried in the Wing,

The relationship between a healer and their tank is a very delicate one, but one that has been around for as long as we can remember. It is one of those natural couplings. Because this is so natural to us, we tend to see our healers with other tanks as a threat. Are you sure her healing lead just didn’t assign her to the offtank? Are you trying to send her tells while she’s healing? I would say that if you are truly concerned you should catch her after a raid, sit her down and talk to her calmly and rationally. Maybe even bring her a dozen Roses . I’m certain you’ll find she is, at heart, a one tank woman and you have nothing to worry about.

~Lodur



Dear Lodur,

My guy has recently started up Alchemy, and now every time he has extra Pygmy Oil around he downs it and turns himself into a Gnome! Lately I see him with a lot of Gnomes in the Eventide bank as well. I asked him to stop but I still find the empty vials laying around the sewers after his arena matches. I’m concerned this is going to turn into an unhealthy obsession and addiction. What can I do?

Thanks,

Distressed in Dalaran

Dear Distressed,

Get help for your loved one right away! Gnome morphing can become a serious addiction very quickly. Get your mutual friends together as well for it may be time for an intervention. Tell him how it is affecting you and how concerned you are for him. And if all else fails, wait till he Gnomifies himself, then hire a couple Tauren to drag him to Darnassus to get the Priestesses of Elune involved. I hear they did wonders for King Wrynn’s Pickled Zevhra hoof problem. Good luck and make sure you guard your ankles!

~Lodur


Dear Lodur,

I’ve been dating a elemental shaman for awhile now. We’ve raided a little bit together and everything seemed fine. Then he asked me to do some battlegrounds with him and who was I to say no? We were waiting at the gate in Arathi Basin when he shifted into Ghost Wolf (something he hadn’t done while we’ve been dating) and since then I can’t stop sneezing! He’s asked me to join his arena team, but I think I’m allergic to dogs. Help!

Thanks,

Allergic in Arathi


Dear Allergic,

Being in an arena team with someone is a large commitment, especially when balancing a potential health issue like allergies. There are a variety of solutions, though it is almost impossible to determine which will be best. First thing you need to do is figure out if you are allergic or not. Get him to transform and see if the sneezing fits continue. If they do then it’s time to disclose your allergy and talk about solutions together. As a shaman, I can say that you might want to suggest your significant other take a bath in Ghost Wolf form, as many shaman often forget that even the spiritual elements of what we do need to be cleaned once in a while. You’re reaction might just be to slightly dirty wolf hair. If that fails you may be able to work something out where there won’t be a need for him to shape shift, perhaps buy him a mount. I hear Kodo are hypo allergenic. The most important thing is that you talk about it and come up with solutions together. You need to agree in advance that you won’t fight about this or build up resentments, and that you will both give it your best shot.

~Lodur


Dear Lodur,

I’m a Nightelf priest and my best friend forever is a dwarf hunter. She tames all these different animals, sends them off to fight and some of them even die! If they don’t die, she’ll just abandon them when she has no use for them. She does the same thing to all those poor cats and small pets she picks up everywhere, just abandoning them whenever she gets bored. How can I show her what she’s doing is cruel and unusual punishment to these poor creatures?

Signed,

Ally of the Animals

Dear Ally,

Your situation is not the first I’ve heard of this. Unfortunately hunters have been brought up this way, and as a result this learned behavior is so ingrained in them it is often times nigh impossible to break. I do however have a suggestion that just might do the trick. What you need to do is find yourself a sympathetic mage and then ask a little favor from Breanni in Dalaran. Convince your friend you’re going to Breanni’s to buy some pet supplies with your mage friend. When you’re there have the mage Polymorph Cat the hunter! Get Breanni to lock the door and unleash Stinker . After being chased around for a while we’ll see if your hunter has a new respect for her poor pets. If that doesn’t work I hear Arthas has a great Re-Education program…

~Lodur


That’s it for this installment of Dear Lodur, feel free to submit your questions if you have any at all. Till next time remember,anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart!

I would like to give special thanks to Sientina from Mug’thol for her help in this post.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

And a hearty happy single’s awareness Valentine’s day to all you wonderful readers out there!

Just a quick summary and weekly highlights for the blogosphere for today (and links I liked over the week).

Last week I issued the WoW Bloggers Valentine’s day challenge and a number of you answered the bell!

Warcraft

  • Treebound Cat – An open letter to my Guild: Wherein the Maerdred-ian one suggests his guild scraps Naxx 25 until the standard of raiders increases. Disappointing to read that it has come to this. But sometimes, such actions become necessary.
  • Fel Fire – The best application I ever denied: I’d rank Fel Fire as one of the hottest WoW blogs to enter the community. Posts are very compelling (and at times, edge of the seat, can’t-take-your-eyes-off-screen). Definitely added to my A-List blogs on Google Reader. Keeps this up, and I’ll have to shuffle Fel Fire into the blog roll down below.
  • Shadow Weaving – Avoid Non-Perma-Pets on Thaddius!: All points bulletin issued by Shadow Weaving for newer Priests who may not be aware of this. Your Shadow Fiend can get positive or negative charges. Potential to wipe the raid!
  • Daily Druid – A great one stop shop for all your Druid needs across all specs. It’s just a simple blog that scours for everything Druid related and publishes it here. Great resource! Wonder if he’s going to launch a Priest version.
  • Simply Serae – 5 Tips for the starting Class Leader – I never bought into the whole class leader philosophy. I’ve embraced a performance based philosophy where everyone’s knowledge adds up together. I don’t think the knowledge and thinking should revolve around several key players. How did I go through this approach? I recruited players way smarter then I am in terms of theory crafting, raid strategy, and so forth. These are players who like to learn from each other and ask questions so that they can get better. However, I am aware that the class leader system still remains prevalent. And this post has some great tips for that.

Blogging

  • Mashable – Personal Branding 102: How to Communicate & Maintain Your Brand: Read the section on evangelize, pitch media (replace reporter with blogger), comment on blogs, write articles and careful listening. A lot of great blogs have difficulty with the promotional and marketing side of things (and are wondering how to attract more readers).
  • Freelance Switch – How to Get Stuck Words to Flow Again: Great for guys like me who get stuck on some days wondering what to write next. Sometimes it helps to just fall back to the basics and stick to the system.
  • Write to Done – How to Make Your Writing Matter to Your Readers: It starts with writing for your audience. And you know what? Your best audience is you. If you like to read about making gold, then focus on writing about making gold. If your heart is into healing, write about healing. By writing what you would read, you attract readers who are interested in the same things as you are. Start from there and branch out.
  • Blogopolis Blueprint – Building Your Blog’s Tribe: If you only read one link from this list, read this one.

 

Leadership

  • Leadership Turn – Ducks in a Row: As you think, so shall you lead: Two important principles. It could help you realign your and re-examine your beliefs. It’s all about your culture. The first? People are intelligent, motivated, and they genuinely want to support their [guild] in achieving its objectives.
  • Slow Leadership – Who are you?: Your identity. Do you know what it is?
  • Triple Pundit – Top 10 Reflections from a First Time TEDster: I love TED. I love watching the videos and presentations that are released. It’s helped me become a better communicator at school, in life, and in game. Given the chance between going to TED or Blizzcon, I’d probably pick TED by a narrow margin.

Say Hello to Lodur

For the past month, I’ve been on the look out for Shaman and Paladin contributors. I’m happy to say that I’ve found a Shaman  I’d like to take this time to introduce Lodur!

Lodur is a Restoration Shaman who is currently an officer in the guild Unpossible on Zul’jin as well as their current Healer Lead. He is helping to push his guild through the current end game and is helping to prepare them for Ulduar and beyond. The Shamanistic one has been a gamer for over 15 years and has experience ranging from pen and paper role playing games all the way through the games of today. In World of Warcraft he has been around since the beta first hit, and has experienced the game from level 1 through end game many times over on different toons, and from different perspectives. He is an active member of the of the healing community at PlusHeal, and thoroughly enjoys the craft of healing.

This Shaman blogger from Way of the Totem who answered a call to contribute at World of Matticus hopes to highlight the shaman class while providing pertinent information for up and coming shamans. He also intends to use his experiences in game to help healers and raiders alike, while still having fun along the way.

Upcoming Topics

  • Why play a shaman?
  • Friend and Foe – (how to deal real life friends who are raiders)
  • Mythology of the shaman – From real life to warcraft lore, from Odin to Thrall
  • Guild morale in times of rapid changes, patches, nerfs and buffs. How to keep them going.

Previous Posts by Lodur

Meanwhile, the hunt continues for a Paladin…

4 Points of Crisis Management

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.”
Chinese Proverb

As individuals, we’re exposed to conflict on a daily level. We get into arguments with loved ones. We curse at the guy who cuts us off on the highway. We become angry because of decisions made by other people that affect us.

One of the Criminology courses I’m taking in university is called introduction to policing. Today I wanted to share some important lessons I learned that day. It’s something that law enforcement go through often in their careers. It’s a great skill that benefits all of us regardless of what your jobs or interests are.

It’s about crisis management.

People need time

parabola

See that poorly drawn graph above? The shaded area is a person’s “rage” meter. This is when a person is at the peak of their anger. Give them time to calm down. Don’t rush anything just yet. Some people get extremely fired up at first and their judgment gets clouded. After some time has passed, the “rage” meter will start to decrease and come down.

Watch your tone of voice and conduct yourself appropriately

Many summers ago, I had a job as a carnie. No, I wasn’t the guy that dressed in the clown suit. I was the guy that had to make your kid wait in line in front of that Scooby Doo or Spongebob Squarepants bouncy castle. It continues to be my observation that when a parent’s kids are involved, all sense of logic and reason goes out the window. The supervisor on deck never stopped preaching to us to watch what we say and to not lose our temper. Direct any extremely flamboyant customers to the supervisor. But above all, don’t lose your cool. Because by raising your voice, you’ll only escalate the problem even further.

And no, I didn’t clean up when your kid peed in my ride either. I got people junior and I to do it. Hooray for seniority (and bless the guy that invented Fuh-breeze).

Reflect on what they’re saying and keep talking

Try and understand their perspective. Keep the conversation going. Try and find common ground. Learn to compromise. What exactly is the subject fired up about? Is there a way for you to help and resolve the situation?

Give them space and distance

When dealing with high risk offenders, keep your distance and give them a lot of space. It doesn’t hurt to have a lot of objects (or tables) in the way especially if the person in question is pissed off at you. It just means there’s more crap they have to navigate through in order to injure you. This also means not deliberately trying to set them off even more. You can tell when someone is mad. But you can also tell when someone is downright pissed. They start saying things they wouldn’t otherwise normally say. Their volume and tone reaches heights it wouldn’t normally reach. It’s not a cue to keep pressing their buttons. Its a cue to just stop.

Guest Casting on the Rawrcast

I mentioned Monday that I would be appearing as a guest on the Rawrcast.

Stomp asked me to help her out and solicit some questions from the readers here. I believe the topics will be on:

  • Dual specs
  • Mana regen
  • Ulduar
  • Anything else is fair game
  • Go to this post and flood her comments (or email) accordingly.

    I’m getting grilled tomorrow (Friday afternoon).