Dear Lodur, a Valentine’s Day Post.

Welcome to the first edition of Dear Lodur, a column where people can ask me questions anonymously and get advice.   It seemed fitting that this inaugural post of Dear Lodur is centered around Love is in the Air, the wonderful (or heartbreaking) festival in Azeroth. With so many people swept off their feet of left sobbing in the streets, who would be a better Draenei to ask for help than Lodur?

Dear Lodur,

I’m a prot paladin and I think that my girlfriend is cheating on me. Lately she’s been healing an offtank (a feral druid!) on Patchwerk more than me and I’m the MT! She’s not responsive to my tells and she just doesn’t seem interested in healing me anymore. Should I be worried? What should I do?

Thanks,

Worried in the Construct Wing

Dear Worried in the Wing,

The relationship between a healer and their tank is a very delicate one, but one that has been around for as long as we can remember. It is one of those natural couplings. Because this is so natural to us, we tend to see our healers with other tanks as a threat. Are you sure her healing lead just didn’t assign her to the offtank? Are you trying to send her tells while she’s healing? I would say that if you are truly concerned you should catch her after a raid, sit her down and talk to her calmly and rationally. Maybe even bring her a dozen Roses . I’m certain you’ll find she is, at heart, a one tank woman and you have nothing to worry about.

~Lodur

Dear Lodur,

My guy has recently started up Alchemy, and now every time he has extra Pygmy Oil around he downs it and turns himself into a Gnome! Lately I see him with a lot of Gnomes in the Eventide bank as well. I asked him to stop but I still find the empty vials laying around the sewers after his arena matches. I’m concerned this is going to turn into an unhealthy obsession and addiction. What can I do?

Thanks,

Distressed in Dalaran

Dear Distressed,

Get help for your loved one right away! Gnome morphing can become a serious addiction very quickly. Get your mutual friends together as well for it may be time for an intervention. Tell him how it is affecting you and how concerned you are for him. And if all else fails, wait till he Gnomifies himself, then hire a couple Tauren to drag him to Darnassus to get the Priestesses of Elune involved. I hear they did wonders for King Wrynn’s Pickled Zevhra hoof problem. Good luck and make sure you guard your ankles!

~Lodur

Dear Lodur,

I’ve been dating a elemental shaman for awhile now. We’ve raided a little bit together and everything seemed fine. Then he asked me to do some battlegrounds with him and who was I to say no? We were waiting at the gate in Arathi Basin when he shifted into Ghost Wolf (something he hadn’t done while we’ve been dating) and since then I can’t stop sneezing! He’s asked me to join his arena team, but I think I’m allergic to dogs. Help!

Thanks,

Allergic in Arathi

Dear Allergic,

Being in an arena team with someone is a large commitment, especially when balancing a potential health issue like allergies. There are a variety of solutions, though it is almost impossible to determine which will be best. First thing you need to do is figure out if you are allergic or not. Get him to transform and see if the sneezing fits continue. If they do then it’s time to disclose your allergy and talk about solutions together. As a shaman, I can say that you might want to suggest your significant other take a bath in Ghost Wolf form, as many shaman often forget that even the spiritual elements of what we do need to be cleaned once in a while. You’re reaction might just be to slightly dirty wolf hair. If that fails you may be able to work something out where there won’t be a need for him to shape shift, perhaps buy him a mount. I hear Kodo are hypo allergenic. The most important thing is that you talk about it and come up with solutions together. You need to agree in advance that you won’t fight about this or build up resentments, and that you will both give it your best shot.

~Lodur

Dear Lodur,

I’m a Nightelf priest and my best friend forever is a dwarf hunter. She tames all these different animals, sends them off to fight and some of them even die! If they don’t die, she’ll just abandon them when she has no use for them. She does the same thing to all those poor cats and small pets she picks up everywhere, just abandoning them whenever she gets bored. How can I show her what she’s doing is cruel and unusual punishment to these poor creatures?

Signed,

Ally of the Animals

Dear Ally,

Your situation is not the first I’ve heard of this. Unfortunately hunters have been brought up this way, and as a result this learned behavior is so ingrained in them it is often times nigh impossible to break. I do however have a suggestion that just might do the trick. What you need to do is find yourself a sympathetic mage and then ask a little favor from Breanni in Dalaran. Convince your friend you’re going to Breanni’s to buy some pet supplies with your mage friend. When you’re there have the mage Polymorph Cat the hunter! Get Breanni to lock the door and unleash Stinker . After being chased around for a while we’ll see if your hunter has a new respect for her poor pets. If that doesn’t work I hear Arthas has a great Re-Education program…

~Lodur

That’s it for this installment of Dear Lodur, feel free to submit your questions if you have any at all. Till next time remember,anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart!

I would like to give special thanks to Sientina from Mug’thol for her help in this post.