“The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend”, at least that’s what Aristotle says. I think he was on to something there. You can have an entire army facing you ready to run you through, but if you have one friend by your side you may just have the chance to win. Before when I started EVE Online and Lord of the Rings Online, it was hard to get into the game because my friends either couldn’t play the same time as me or were vastly higher level than I was. It made the games much less fun at the time than it was to play with a friends.
MMOs force you to get to know some one’s personality before anything else, this is especially true when you’re grouped up in guilds or clans. This is vastly different than what our human nature normally allows. As people our nature is to find others like us physically first, then discern intelligence and mentality. Video games have made it so we get to know the person’s personality before anything else. As a result, friendships you make through the game can create a stronger bond than even you may realize.
I’m sure you’re asking why all of a sudden is Joe going on about friendships and want-not. Couple nights ago my guild was working on Lich King (25) and we were coming back from a break when we got on a tangent because an old friend of many of the long time people in the guild expressed interest in not only coming back to the game, but finding a home on our server. We started talking about all the “old timers” we used to hang out with and it came up that someone I used to farm honor with late night that I hadn’t heard from in a very long time, passed away. I had no idea and that really bothered me. I mean this a person that I used to stay up all hours of the night shooting the shit, while shooting the horde. I remember being dog tired after a particularly long day at work and being JUST below my requirement for Knight rank in the old PvP system. This person was part of the group that convinced me to just queue with them and then let them do the work while I napped. Just so I could make sure I got the points before the next day’s calculations to get my rank. This person was also part of the group that when me and my girlfriend at the time split for good, decided it was city raid time to try and break me out of the slump I had fallen into. All the while joking and cajoling me trying to get me to laugh. Say whatever you will, these were good people.
The news of the death was a bit sobering sure, but it made me think of the other people I’ve made friends with through this game and how much their friendships impact my life. One of my best friends was found through the game. I’ve talked about it before but it’s still a good story. Back in BC we got an influx of new recruits, one of which was a smart-ass warlock. We always joked in game and always got along. One raid night I offhandedly mentioned having gone to a local coffee house before the raid. Erommon perked up on vent and started asking questions. Soon as the raid was over we met up, went to Deny’s and just hung out to the course of another 3 hours or so just talking. Needless to say he has become one of my best friends.
Another one of my best friends I met as a result of WoW. I had just been hired for my current job and we were on a break from training. I logged into my guild’s website to check raid sign-ups and my friend Dan happened to see it was a WoW website. We started talking and quickly found out we had much in common outside of the game. We became fast friends and now he is currently the person I’m working with for the 2D video game I’ve been working on.
I try to make myself accessible to guildies, but there are some I talk to more than others just out of shared likes and dislikes and play times. I’ve had guildies call me with real life problems at very odd hours just to vent and seek advice like they would from any long term real world friend. I’ve had guildies call me to make sure I was OK with things going on in my life outside of the game.
Even through the community there is this amazing bond that can be shared. I can’t tell you how many friends I’ve made through blogging and the community that surrounds it. If not for that community I never would have met my girlfriend or been introduced to such amazing people as I have been. Hell I’ve talked about Thespius from this site before, we hit it off right away when he joined my guild and through game time, this site and just chatting in general I’m happy to call him my friend, and would share a frosty pint with him any day.
Sometimes it amazes me and I have to sit back and take stock of it all. Today is one of those days. I mean how long ago was it that gamers were shunned covens of outcasts? Now gaming is it’s own social media giant that is allowing us to make some great contacts and meet people we normally wouldn’t have thought to talk to or get to know. Look back and think about all the friends you’ve made in the game or through the community. Do you consider them actual friends? Any stories to share?
I wouldn’t consider anybody that I’ve met in-game a friends, but that may easily be my fault. I used to have a great job, worked in a large department where every person not only got along but many of us became very close, real friends. Then one day, literally in one day, the company closed and we didn’t see each other every day. We still are all friends and do stuff years later, but that experience hardened me a bit. Now I am too cautious because frankly I just don’t want to be let down again, I don’t want something yanked out from under me. I want to be the one in control.
That said, there have been some really great people (from my guild(s)) that I can’t imagine I ever would have met in real life. These people have listened to me when I went through life crap and I’ve listened to them. I hesitate to call them friends, I don’t know if I can open myself up just yet that way and define them as such, but they are the closest thing to a friend – and I am glad to have gotten to know each of them.
I maintain some of my best relationships with people that I have met in game. I can not imagine my life without the people I have met in WoW. I have made friends who now color my real life with their wonderful personalities. This game has given me a sister of the heart, a best friend, and so much more. All in all you may have to open a thousand clams to find a pearl but they are out there, and they are worth looking for.
I found some great people in wow and some I really do consider my friends, but I also encountered a few that I would have loved to hit with a shovel. Thank god for the ignore function.
.-= Sil´s last blog ..Oronil’s past (part 2) =-.
I was introduced to WoW through a college classmate and didn’t make any lasting friendships ’til I switched servers from Eredar to TB within my first five months. One of the first people I latched onto was the GM of the Harbingers of War, Vodral, and we regularly RP’d together. Most of the people from “the old days” have moved on to other games, but I’m still in touch with Trinda (who lives near my city), among others, and my guild is arranging yearly meet-ups (the joke is that I’m hosting next year, but I’m planning on moving to a smaller place, so >.> ).
I’ve also met some awesome people through the RP community and blogosphere who I consider myself to be very close to. Tchann keeps prodding me to move to Pittsburg and the more she mentions it, the more tempted I am, haha. xD But yeah, I honestly believe that anybody that tries to tell me they haven’t had any meaningful friendships in WoW or they don’t believe it’s possible are full of it or… just not people I really want to get to know very well (they’re more likely to treat others like crap if online friendships don’t mean anything to them).
.-= Matojo´s last blog ..RP Hermitage and Me =-.
I consider my online gamer friends to be good friends and I love the fact that I can keep in contact with them out of game via Facebook etc. The only disappointing thing about online friends is that they’re often tied to the game you’re currently playing and if someone gets fed up with the game, you might not see or hear from them very much at all.
.-= We Fly Spitfires´s last blog ..Video Games And Freemasonry =-.
I definately make RL friends from wow. It is kind of what I do. I make communities of people. I invite people to come to things I am organising – pub nights, games days, BBQs etc. In fact, I even travel the country meeting people. Just recently I flew up to queensland with a good friend I met through wow (one of my MTs from back when I ran a guild *wipes tear from eye*) to go hang out with our old Raid Leader before he pissed off to europe. That week was bloody brilliant! I mean, how many people can you randomly say “Hey dude, Im going to fly to queensland wanna come?” and they not only say yes, you extend the holiday weekend to an entire week and he swings you free accomodation! I love my wow buddies, and they know it.
I went to go visit another one from my new guild last weekend, and I am having another meetup this weekend at the pub that I have invited everyone I know in wow in my city to.
.-= brangwen´s last blog ..Hardmodes =-.
Romanian is better at expressing this than English – we have 2 words for friends, one meaning ‘friends who aren’t so close’ and the other meaning ‘friends who are closer’, more or less. Let’s call them “close acquaintances” and “friends”.
I’ve made quite a few close acquaintances in game. I’ve visited some of them and we still talk years after we met, although not very frequently due to guild changes and conflicting schedules. These are people I feel pretty close to, but whom I haven’t talked about a lot of personal things about.
And then there’s the friends. Or friend, shall I say. My little story starts in TBC, when this female shaman joined my then-guild. For some reason I feel closer to girls in WoW (maybe because there’s not many of us), and in this particular case we hit it off right away. Fast forward a year and a bit later, we talk every day on Gtalk and in game, and we just made our own guild last week (us 2 + respective boyfriends) and I even visited her a month ago (she lives in a different country). I know that online friendships come and go, but I hope this one will last. (I’m also secretly hoping she doesn’t move to the US like she’s hoping to, because that would mean visiting each other would become pretty much impossible, and I already have a good internet friend who I only see once every 2 years due to big ocean between us.)
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Blogging muses and chance encounters =-.
Several years ago I would of never considered to drive a few hours to have dinner with a couple we met online in any MMO. Nor would of considered sleeping in the basement of my then guild leader, while we visited NYC for the new year.
But that was before we spent months and years together working on the same raids. Spending hours talking together to figure how to drum out the latest drama in the guild. These are people that cared about one another and wanted to work for a similar goal.
For me online gaming is one of the few places where I can actually make friendships, which is something I find hard IRL. MMO’s IMO have been a boon to the antisocial to give them a way to know that “Hey they play XYZ game so that’s one thing we have in common.” Which goes a long way in forming friendships.
Even as far as a few months ago I have made friendships that I hope will last for years to come… and perhaps cohorts in my gaming development career.
I met my wife in WoW. She was in Australia, so it was a bit of logistics to get her here. That and all of my RL friends from before online gaming either play, or used to play, WoW. Nuff said.
I met my boyfriend in Wow.
He was in another European country – so I’m moving there in a few months.
Nuff said 😉
I met my best friend in wow. A year later, I married her 🙂 2 years later we’ve got 2 great kids and we still raid 2 nights a week 🙂
Definitely! Although the only person I could call my “best” friend right now I first met when I was in high school, I consider all my online friendships perfectly valid. I’m a lot more open and willing to make friends online, but it takes a long time for them to gain my trust.
Especially on MMOs, sometimes it becomes all too evident when someone is actually really only there, in your guild, talking to you, because you have common objectives within the game or because they think there’s some gain to be had by spending time with you. I am quick to move on when someone’s real motivations are revealed and I no longer consider them friends, but in turn it makes me less likely to open up to the next person who comes along.
Alot of my RL friends/family play WoW. My husband and I (we didn’t meet on WoW), are in the same guild and raid together frequently. I met a ton of cool people through this game. Most were in my guild, or I was in there guild, at one time or another.
When you think about it, for most of us anyway, we’re on WoW talking to people more than we talk to friends or family who aren’t on WoW. If you’re talking to someone 1-2 hours a night, 3 or more nights a week, of course you’re going to develop a bond and, untimately, a friendship.
I would love to plan some kind of get-together for our guild and friends of our guild. I keep teasing our GM to sell the gbank gold to gold farmers and throw us a 4th of July party. His wife is biting, but he isn’t. 🙁
Most of us do keep in touch on Facebook. We even have a group set up on there by one of our guildies. It’s fun to see what everyone looks like IRL, after seeing their characters and talking to them for so long. And I must say, From the Ashes- Nazjatar has some good lookin’ guildies 🙂