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Every story, article, column, piece, and so forth on World of Matticus ever published.

10 Reasons Horde is Better

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joveta-post

This is Joveta’s Week 2 Submission

I’m sorry (no, not really), but it’s true.  Alliance, you’ve got a lot of nifty things, but when it comes down to it, Horde has you beat hands-down.

 

 

 

Ogre Loin Cloths

loin-anaughtybear You just wish you had a quest that let you dig up a Ripped Ogre Loincloth.  Alliance, you may have a cutesy pet in Feralas, but Horde gets fashion.  Alternate recommendation for those in the audience saying to themselves, “But Jove…  Why would I want a gray item?”  Simple!  Slap an armor kit on one of these babies and give ’em to your tanks to combat healer boredom during trash pulls.  Fashionable and useful!

 

Zeppelin

zeppelin-arthouseparty(net) I don’t know about you, but I like a little variety in my transportation.  Alliance,  you’ve got gryphons and boats.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with utility, but in addition to wyverns and boats, Horde gets Zeppelins.  It’s an attractive way to cross the ocean without that pesky seasickness, plus it’s character-building to participate in anything created by goblins and engineers;  you never know when it might blow up in your face.

 

Thrall

Thrall-orcyish He is the Warchief.  Not only is he a kick-butt shammy who can chain lightning your face into the dirt, in the past, he’s been spotted riding a pally horse and getting his mack on with two cute blonde humans at the same time.  Who does Alliance have who can compete?  Definitely not…

 

Fandral Staghelm

Staghelm-zenvirus Related to the above, we hordies can actually kill that @$%%!# Staghelm up in his tree in Darnassus.  Alliance just gets to fantasize about it.  Isn’t that just like an “I win” button right there?

 

 

The Men

Sorry, Alliance.  Your options are “short and creepy” or “gorilla.”  Horde men have  actual variety in shape and appearance, and as such present something for everyone.  Like green and well-muscled?  We have orcs.  Tall and blue?  Trolls win, and have an awesome dance to boot.  Fur?  Taurens, if that’s your thing.  Like something you can go shopping with?  Blood elves are beautiful and can also give you hair-care advice.  Prefer your men deep and gothy?  Undead.  (Also, why is the Alliance trapped in a VH1 “I love the…” special when it comes to dances?  Horde men at least are in the correct century.)

 smooch

Silvermoon City

Oh Silvermoon City, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways… 

Face it, Silvermoon is what every city wishes it could be.  It’s awesome enough, it deserves it’s own list.

If one is good, two is twice as good

Twice the banks and auction houses, twice as good, right?  That’s right, folks.  Silvermoon is the only city with dual banks and auction houses.  I’m sorry, Alliance, you’re stuck with just the one per town.

Mailboxes to infinity

mailbox Have you counted the mailboxes in Silvermoon?  There are  approximately 15-billion.  Unlike all those other towns where you literally need to “run to the mailbox” (of which you can choose between 2 or 3) in Silvermoon, one is never more than 25-feet away.  Goblins totally deliver faster there, too.

It’s clean and pretty

Not only was it planned by an architect with an eye for appearances, magic keeps the streets clean 24/7.  Enough said.

L70ETC

None of your cities has a rock band in residence.  Silvermoon does. 

Quality cyborz

Because it must be mentioned…  When it comes time to settle down and engage in some romantic interlude with your sweetie, which do you prefer?  A quiet inn off the beaten track, sumptuously decorated and lovely?  Or Goldshire, a ratty, falling-down, decrepit and noisy place with dingy sheets and bedbugs?

Got any additions to the awesome?  Any alliance want to come take me down a peg and try to prove me wrong?

How to Recruit a New Healer in 10 Easy Steps

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sydera-post

This is Sydera’s SYTYCB week 2 entry.

It’s 9:00 p.m. on a Sunday night, and where’s your resto shaman? Oh right, he’s taking three months off raiding to spend time with his new girlfriend, and you need that tremor totem for Vashj right now. What do you do? If you follow these ten easy steps, you’ll be seeing the beautiful banana beams of Brain Heal again in no time.







Auntie Syd Wants UCall me crazy, but I like doing guild recruiting. So far, I have recruited ten total strangers for my guild, Collateral Damage of Vek’nilash, and eight of these new members have become great friends and guildmates. As for the other two, well–you the readers will have the opportunity to learn from my mistakes. How do you tell the truly awesome players who will someday invite you to their house for homemade ravioli from the habitual guild hoppers? This simple list will help you navigate the chaos.

1. Look early and often

Guild turnover is a constant surprise, and you will never be able to predict exactly when you’ll be short-handed. If you’re not recruiting, your guild is shrinking. If you have specific needs, allow a month or so to find just the right player.

Over time, I have observed that my best recruits were rarely those that fit my narrow search criteria. When I tried to recruit a resto shaman, all I found were two wonderful holy priests. Jesmin and Fortitius have since become cornerstones of the healing corps, and as a side note, they’ve both invited me over for dinner! If you find an exceptional player, don’t ever miss out.

2. Build up your guild’s reputation

A guild’s recruitment officer is also its public relations specialist. Start participating in your realm forums–you’d be surprised just how much goodwill you can generate with some friendly, respectful posts. Potential recruits may be reading, so don’t act like a jerk unless that’s the attitude your guild is going for!

3. Search creatively

Almost all recruiters post both on their realm forums and on Guild Recruitment. Those two search options are no-brainers, but there are other tools out there to help you. I use www.wowlemmings.com to sort through the posts on the official forums, and I always write to WoWInsider’s Guild Watch column when I post a new opening. In addition, community sites like PlusHeal or TankSpot often have a recruitment forum. Try to reach the widest possible audience.

4. Write an advertisement with personality

Your advertisement should be both expressive and informative. These two examples, both from Sunwell guilds, show how an ad can reflect a guild’s general attitude.

Sample Ad #1: Relaxed and uncensored

Casual
Sample Ad #2: Businesslike and respectful

Lunacy
“Mostly our raid vent and guild chat is used to discuss non-WoW related things such as affairs with married women, getting your girlfriend pregnant, binge drinking, and other topics. We are looking for highly skilled players that have a good sense of humor, want to progress, and won’t burn out or quit the first time they get to second base with a girl.” “We like to keep a calm and collected raid with leaders who don’t yell at their raiders at every turn, while still managing to be successful. We’ve recently cleared all of Sunwell. We are 6/6. But that doesn’t mean we plan to cease raiding. =)”
I like the irony that <Casual> uses in their description, but as much as I might admire their writing style, I know right away that they’re way too macho for me! The second guild, <Lunacy>, uses a serious tone for their ad, which tells me that they are more hardcore than the first guild. The smiley, however, softens the ad a bit and gives it some humanity. Even though Casual’s ad is more creative, Lunacy’s ad would attract a more reserved player like me.

To sum up: write an ad that appeals to the kind of player you want.

5. Prepare a thoughtful application

Most guilds use an application template. Search around, find one you like, and adapt it to suit your guild’s needs. Provide a link to the application on your guild website, and make sure the instructions for posting are easy to follow. Include at least one question that lets your applicants show who they really are. Collateral Damage asks applicants to tell us a joke. This question is an idiot check, and anything that’s not obscene will work for us. Extra points are awarded for silly–we’re more likely to invite players whose sense of humor matches ours.

6. Know your competition

Find out which guilds on your server are similar to yours, and lurk in their forums if you can. If they are currently recruiting, you should know about it! If you admire something about their organization or application procedure, imitate it! If you get applicants that don’t suit your guild, refer them to the kind of guild they want. In addition, talk to other guilds’ recruitment officers and share information–you may learn some useful gossip.

7. Research your candidates

Inviting new members into your guild is like welcoming strangers into your home. Trust is important–after all, you don’t want them to leave with the silverware in their pockets! In addition to scrutinizing someone’s gear and reputation through the Armory, you can look up his guild history at www.warcraftrealms.com/charhistory.php. You’re checking for one of two warning signs: a list of guilds a mile long, or no list at all. A player with a short record has very likely changed names, which goes right along with guild- and server-hopping.

Remember–if you do the research, you have to use what you learn. Both of my failures in recruiting came from giving a player the benefit of the doubt. When you recruit, go with your instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is.

8. Contact your prospects personally

One of my recruits, Thunm, told me that he chose my guild because one of our officers took the time to go to his server and talk to him one-on-one. When you see a promising post on the forums, make a personal reply, and follow that up with an in-game contact. Chat over vent, and let your prospects ask questions–they will want to check you out as well.

9. Make a good offer

When you invite a new guild member, do so in good faith. Try not to recruit positions that involve lots of bench time or poor prospects for loot. In short, make the kind of offer YOU would want to accept. I see many guilds make the mistake of thinking only about progression or about their longtime members–remember to make your new guild member feel welcome.

10. Follow up!

Congratulations! Your guild has a new healer, and you are the person she knows best. Serve as her mentor, and check in with her often. If the guild isn’t happy with your recruit’s performance, be the one to explain why. If it seems that the guild is a good fit, be her champion when the officers vote on whether she should be promoted to full member.

Always remember: Be honest, both with yourself and with any applicants you talk to.

The more you know about your guild’s personality and style, the better you can describe it to your potential recruits. You don’t want to be one of those lolguilds that advertises in general chat with really original lines like: We haz guild bank and taberdz, pst for invite!

And most of all, don’t panic! The right person for your guild is always out there.

Sydera

TNB Podcast: Beta Mic Night with Matt and Wyn!

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of ages…!
This Friday night, your bloggers Matticus and Wynthea will be co-hosting a podcast alongside legendary personalities Fimlys (Asleep at the WoW) and Breana (Gun Loving Dwarf Chick).

When

Friday, September 5th
930 PM PST

Where

Check back later (on the day of) for live show details. If you can’t make it, the podcast will be available for download in the next week.

Participate

There will be a lot of discussion about the beta and we’ll also be discussing your favourite topics around the Internether(tm). However, that doesn’t mean we’re not open to any questions that you might have. Feel free to post comments here or on the TNB post linked above and we’ll try our best to address your questions and concerns. Remember that Wyn and I are both beta participants. She can field the Horde related questions and I’ll tackle the Alliance ones as best as Dwarvenly possible.

Random Promo Speak by the Voice Over Guy

In a world where tanks and DPS reign supreme…

Where heroic healers are almost non existent…

One Dwarf and One Troll will combine their powers…

Forming the most unlikeliest pairing since Jimmy MacElroy and Chazz Michael Michaels…

Immerse yourself in the World of Matticus where the impossible becomes possible, where epic mounts are free, and every pun, cliche, and annoying saying will be used and abused.

Don’t miss this once a year opportunity! Two healer egos will enter. Only one can emerge unscathed. Can even the shields of the Twisted Nether handle the Healpower of this magnitude? Stay tuned and find out!

Coming this Friday to a podcast near you!

An Explanation is in Order for the New Look

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In short, my blog broke. Something bad happened with the numerous scripts that has occurred. As such, this has forced my hand. I’ve been meaning to work on a new layout for some time over the winter break before New Years. Now technical difficulties have ramped up the schedule a lot. School just started for me so I’ll need to work swiftly. I had narrowed down my theme choices to a few and this was one of them. Customization tends to take a bit of time. This will be no different.

So if you’re reading this in a feedreader or via email, please keep it up.

What this means to you

Absolutely nothing. What this means is that some functionality is reduced. No Twitterfeed, no recommended readings, no recent posts, etc.

I’m so embarrassed. Bear with me. Thank goodness for four day weekends.

SYTYCB: 10 Silly Timewasters

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crutch-post

This is Jen’s SYTYCB week 2 entry.

There is lots of expansion talk right now and with Arthas looming in the not-so-distant future you might be thinking where should I be spending my WoW time?

Do I need to get all my alts to 70 so I have an army to fight the Lich King?

Should I be preparing and gathering to level professions immediately so I can have the first flying carpet on my server?

Are there achievements I would like to have in place before Wrath hits (collecting mini-pets or grinding reputations to exalted)?

While all of these things are fun to do and can help complete some of your WoW-related goals, sometimes we need to be a little silly.  Here is my list of random things to do in WoW that will not progress your character or accomplish anything productive goal-wise. These are purely time-wasters.


Play With NPCs


If you see a pair of NPCs having a conversation, join in! They really don’t mind and it is entertaining for you and everyone around you. You can also slow walk or “RP walk” if you see a group of them going somewhere. I have found they never go anywhere exciting though, and normally end up vanishing into thin air.


Easter Egg Hunt


Have you visited Ophera Windfury or Haris Pilton lately? Blizzard has a great sense of humor and they have hidden pop culture references throughout Azeroth and Outlands. Just spend one hour in Un’Goro Crater and you will see plenty of references and spoofs of old console games.


One-man Bosses


Tanks get to be in the bosses’ face all the time where casters and healers have to take a backseat view to the action. So if you want to see what the boss looks like when angry and what kinds of goofy facial expressions he makes then pose as a tank. I am not saying one-man bosses you KNOW you can kill. This is to one-man bosses for fun and screenshots, not achievement. Be prepared for repairs.


Show Off


Ride around Shattrath on your armored netherdrake or stand in Stormwind with your new shiny epic. If you are the type that thrives on attention and the accolades from others, then this is the time-waster for you. Make sure you answer all whispers with “oh sorry, I was tabbed out” even though you were sitting there just basking in the adoration.

Toon Watch

Do you ever go to the mall and just watch the people shopping? This is similar; watching what goes on in your capital city can be a riot. Seeing how many people try to jump to the very top of the Stormwind fountain can keep you entertained for at least 10 minutes. I don’t think they realize how silly they look. Thanks for the laughs, fountain jumpers.

You Shook Me All Night Long

There are plenty of fun things in the game that can shape-shift you. This can be a noggenfogger party, a furbolg party or a ninja party. Be creative. Make sure everyone brings their favorite mini-pet and vanity items. Hellloooo brewfest pony keg!

Become a Regular

Stay at the same inn every night, or even find an empty building in Ironforge and call it your home. I chose to become a regular at a tavern where everyone knows my name. Who knows, they might start giving you a discount.

Suicide Jumps

This could be considered practice for the new achievements, but I’ve been doing this for a long time just for fun. It certainly helps if you have a way of surviving the fall, for example Priest’s levitate.

Give Me My Greypics

I do not consider myself a role-player, but I do enjoy collecting costumes or sets of grey gear. Instead of chasing epics that will be replaced eventually, why not chase grey sets? It can be fun and your guild can get involved in trying to find certain set pieces you are missing. Caylee is modeling the lovely crochet set.

/join trade

This might be torturous for some, but if you want hear more about Chuck Norris, murlocs or anal [insert spell here] this is the best way to get all of that in one sitting.

Enjoy the game you play. If you do not enjoy dailies don’t do them or find a way to make them more interesting. If stockpiling mats makes you yawn then stop it. If you are not enjoying the game, why are you here? What time-wasters or fun things do you do in game?

Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted. John Lennon