Hey everyone! The other day, I gave you a quick method on narrowing down the collossal amount of search results you’d get from recruiting and compiling a neat, orderly list to work with. Today we’re going to hit up the actual recruiting forums and pick out some common jargon for new recruiters who are confused with the terms or have difficulty reading between the lines. Some of these are serious and some are rather tongue and cheek. I’ll let you decide which is which!
“We are exceptional <class> looking for…”
What they really mean: They think they’re really, really good and clearly there is no one in the entire 11+ million pool of players who are better than them. Not just some average Joe Raider. It’s just no one wants to take a chance on them on their server. Like seriously, it seems that half the recruiting ads I see are from players who believe they’re really exceptional. But if everyone says they’re exceptional, how can they all be exceptional? Unless they were the exception to the exceptionism.
E X C E P T I O N
“US Top 100 only”
What they really mean: They’ve been around since beta. They’ve seen it all and done it all. They’ve got lots of time to spare for progression. Whatever needs to be done, I can do. Looking for the best guilds only! These types mean business. Either that or they’ll wash out when they realize the raid leader really can remove them from the raid and they’re not the center of the universe.
“Progressed realm”
What they really mean: Clear desire to get off their low population, backwater server. They need a life line and they need it fast. Thinks they have what it takes to raid at a higher level but have trouble finding other like minded people.
“No less than 5/7 Firelands”
What they really mean: Clearly they took a break at the end of tier 11 and missed the first few weeks of Firelands. Probably just started Firelands for the first time and got trounced. Wants to get back into the thick of things again. Probably stonewalled on one specific boss for a long time and cannot seem to muster the man power or skill to power through.
“25 man only”
What they really mean: Possibly prone to screwing up. Likes to hide along the relative anonymity of other players. Has a 4% chance of being blamed for a wipe on 25 man instead of 10% on a 10 man. Hates the closeness of 10 mans. My kind of player.
“LF adult guild!!111”
What they really mean: Likes to make lots of sex jokes. Possible cybering involved. Use caution.
“Immediate core position for <class>”
What they really mean: Wants to feel like that special snowflake. You know, like the only Shaman or Boomkin in the guild. Wants to feel really unique and indispensible. Yeah. That guy. Works great until you discover they can’t sustain their Molten Feather stacks or circumvent tornadoes properly :(.
“Must be able to accept all 3 of us”
What they really mean: Will quit if even one person is deemed not good enough. Must accept all or accept none. Strong desire to stay together.
“Professional environment”
What they really mean: Likes to raid with really loud music. Doesn’t want Mumble chatter to impede what they’re listening on iTunes or what they’re watching on Netflix. He’s the guy who constantly blasts top 40 music whenever he speaks.
“No female officers“
What they really mean: Deemed “sexist douchebags”, according to one player. I’ve actually seen a recruiting post once that specifically stated no female officers. May have suffered some type of traumatic experience earlier in their gaming career and doesn’t want to go through it again. If I remember right, the reasoning behind the original poster involved something about cattiness and snark because the applicant was also female as well. Maybe Kat would know more about this than I would. All the female officers I’ve ever interacted with in my own guild or other guilds seemed pleasant enough.
And now you too can navigate the murky waters of recruiting! In any case, good luck to you young recruiters out there and may all your apps last long term!
Actually, the “must accept all three” means “one acceptable player and two slackers, but you have to carry the slackers to get the third”.
Touche. You win ^^
I put looking for 25m because that’s more fun to heal imo. I stand up all right in 10m but it feels very empty.
For those of you confused by which of the above are jokes and which are not, here are some translations. (Ok, so I changed some of the serious ones to jokes too.)
“We are exceptional looking for…” – Everyone uses this word, so we feel like we have to too. Or, I was top dps in my guild, so I think I’m good. Or, my mom said I’m good.
“Progressed realm” – I’m a guild hopper and I want a high pop realm so if it doesn’t work out with you, which I’m already thinking it might not, then I have options to play the field.
“No less than 5/7 Firelands” – If the person is 5/7 then it means they don’t want to go backward in progression. If they aren’t then it means they want to be carried. For a VERY small percentage it means they were temporarily held back by their guild or RL circumstances and can catch up quickly.
“25 man only” – 10 man raids are a joke and I want to be challenged. Oh, and I have a computer that was actually manufactured in the last decade and can handle the demands of 25 man raiding.
“LF adult guild!!” I’m tired of the kids and their LEET SPEEK and want a mature environment with other adults. It does not mean they’re looking to make dirty jokes 24/7. Those people typically write that they’re looking for a crude environment or write something like “looking for people who have a crude/twisted/dirty sense of humor” or “people who aren’t easily offended.”
“Immediate core position for ” – I’m tired of being recruited by guilds that have 4 of my class and only let me see raid time once ever 2 weeks. I want to raid, not ride the bench. And, I want to actually be needed, not just a padding to your roster.
“Professional environment” – I’m tired of poorly run guilds where certain people are treated better than others and where decisions are apparently made out of left field. I want a guild that comes prepared to raid and knows what they’re doing. I want an efficient raid environment, not one that sits around with their thumbs up their butts between pulls trying to figure out what went wrong and not one where people are talking over each other in vent without direction.
“No female officers“ – Couldn’t get a girlfriend in high school and is still terrified by women. The thought of a woman in a position of power gives him hives. He thinks about this fear often as he drives to his minimum wage job at the local diner. Or, it’s a chick with super low self-esteem who likes being the only chick in the guild so she can flirt with all the guys and find a nice WoW boyfriend. He’s probably married, but she doesn’t care, as long as he pays attention to her in game and shoots her a few text messages every now and then.
I like your interpretation of adult guild. The one for progressed realm does appear to be bang on as well ^^.
Basically skilled player with too many alts, seeks 9 or 24 other people to carry me through the content until I have either too much homework, a girlfriend, or am grounded.
I prefer communication via chat, and won’t talk on vent unless you’re into dick jokes. Given how wonderful my mother thought I was until I reached puberty, I reserve the right to ninja the loot I want, and bitch if not taken on raids.
Please also change your Wednesday raid night to Thursday, as hat better fits around my schedule.
Although the humor of this article is pretty awesome, and i did enjoy it, i would like to discuss this point a bit more.
I’ve personally found every raiding guild I’ve ever been in from the Guild Recruitment forums on the official website. The one thing I can say, is that the guilds that I have found ended up being incredibly fun to be a part of. Within the last week due to the start of college classes, I actually had to do this again, as well.
I’m not the best raider ever. I know that. I am good at what i do, and am always looking to improve. I make no attempt to BS people into thinking I will magically appear with fanfare to their raid, and suddenly a wild Chuck Norris appears from the heavens, to smite their progression boss. I have never seen someone claim this, but after stating this, should i ever see it in the forums, I’m directing him to my guild. Now before my paragraph fully derails, I think part of the key is really not overstating what you can offer, be somewhat frank, and sincere.
Also, learn to communicate in a way that (the hopefully at this point) interested parties can get to know you with.
How does a modest raider sell ones self amidst the sea of “LOLUB3RDUDELFGUILDWITHALLTHEDEADTHINGS?”
I think part of the success I had was started on my previous point, and then led to getting to know the interviewing guild leadership, and actively pursuing every post that (actually fit my criteria) people posted to try to recruit me. Talking with them is great in game or even through RealID, but also getting a feel for them in [Insert VoIP program of choice here] can be greatly beneficial too.
Its kinda like finding a job. For instance, there are multiple different Target stores, (Mandatory side note: If you want a job at Target, I don’t know that there is any help available to cure that.) and you should probably find the one that has the position you want and the people that best suit your personality.
Lastly, applications, no matter how mundane or downplayed the guild you are looking into have made them, are actually important. You are putting yourself into a public/partially public to guild members forum, to be analyzed and picked apart, to show you are not a robot, and to have questions derived from come the day you get in vent with the important people looking to utilize you. Write in your A-Game. One-word answers are boring. Show them you are capable of higher thought processes than that other hunter in trade spamming ilvl9001 rdps lf raid guild pst.
I would hope that this bit would serve as a decent enough addendum to anyone happening across this piece that might be currently LFG. I also kinda wanna apologize for going all srsfais on your rather humorous blog entry. I absolutely love your site and try my best to stay at minimum semi-current on it. Keep up the awesome work!
PS: Please also change your times to start raiding at the crack o’ midnight. This would be very better for the everyone. (But in all seriousness your guild is one of two I have always wanted to app to. The problem is, though that you start raids I think an hour or more earlier than I would be able to attend. I wish you and Conquest all the best in all of your future dragon slaying adventures!)
Being honest is, like you said, vitally important. Maybe the most important. What it tells me as an officer is not only that you are being honest about your abilities, but that you can be honest about your abilities. There are a lot of people who cannot even conceive of themselves not being the best possible. For those people, trying to get them to improve is impossible, because they can’t even see where they could.
When you admit what your faults are, you are implicitly implying that you are willing to work on improving them, and that is very valuable to a raid leader.
“No to Female Officers” – haha! sorry for i’m quite new to recruiting but is it possible to for a female to pretend to be a male? if so, what if they actually pretend? they basically pass this exception, aren’t they? great stuff!