Matticus

Matticus is the founder of World of Matticus, a World of Warcraft blog.

12 Reasons Why Priests Don’t Make the Best Lovers

by

pirate

Hear-ye, hear-ye, ye backstabin buccaneers!

As me learn-ed scurvy dog colleagues o’er the past few days have discussed about ye class lovers, I have discovered one thing. Ye think Priests make the finest landlubbin’ lovers, do yeh? Well ye be wrong on that count and let me tell ye why! Priests are the exact reasons why thar exists women scorned by which fury hell hath no! Nay, we be nothin’ more than gentlemen o’ fortune so ter speak.

Ye got yer Warlocks! Then ye got yer Captains! And yer goody two shoes Pal-eh-din! A lot of mateys believe that Duh-ruids are tha bettar ones in bed! And of course, Rogues do it from behind (because they’re not smart enough to do it from other positions, harrrrr har har!). Cannae’ forget our tentically hoofed buccanneers!

But here’s why hookin’ up with a Priest be like findin’ fool’s gold!

Fortitude only lasts 60 minutes

Aye, we be full of stamina and strength but fer how long? We can only go 60 minutes before we become tired out ye know!

Staves, Maces, and Daggers

We not exactly be the most skilled with our weapons. Ye never see a Priest with maxed out weapon skills! Ye think we’re any better in unarmed… combat?!

Constant drinking

There be only so much energy a Priest has before they need to batten down the hatches and drink. I find it nigh impossible that a lass would be able ter wait tha’ long fer us to recover (and plunder her booty)!

Squishy

Harrrr! Our inability to withstand pain means activities be limited! Our robes can only handle so much punishment from a cat o’ nine tails! Unless we take ’em off…

Limited shields

Yarrrr, ye realize our shields can not withstand lovin’ power of that maggggnitude before they buckle under pressure! Oh sure they can protect ye, but for how long? And what will ye do when that bubble be breached?

Never satisfied with just one

We be busy scannin’ all the time for potential targets! We cannae always commit to one, ye know! It be too difficult for Priests to be monogamous!

Too pure

Can we consciously betray our teachings of the light? No! Thar be no such thing as a promiscuous Priest! Not ter mention, I cannae dream of a scurvy cur who’d want ter shack up with the dirty Shadowy ones! Only a wench would!

Too much Discipline

Discipline. Priests have too much of it! Even one point invested be far too much for the ordinary lass! We shan’t betray our cause or our purpose which means we not tha’ righ’ choice!

Too poor

Priests are the most lily-livered class you’ll encounter, me hearty! We don’t have the doubloons to afford even the most scallywag of Warlock wenches!

So ye see lad, while you may think that Priests make great lovers, ye best be takin’ your reasons to Davey Jones locker!

Yarrrrr!

One Thoughters from Matt and is Your Class the Best Lover?

by

I used to do these. Wyn does them. Then Auz started it.

  • When did cookies become a sometimes food?
  • Raiders who raid often don’t want to. Raiders who don’t raid often, want to.
  • My coblogger gets more fame and recognition than I do.
  • Hey Auz, click here
  • How do wands work? Is there a button? Maybe a stun and kill setting?
  • Do Blizzard developers read WoW blogs?
  • What would a 10 man counter terrorism unit in WoW consist of?
  • I always finish the milk before the cookie. Ugh.
  • Mallet has 19 Exalted reputations. Too lazy to level Sporregar.
  • Jessica Alba’s 27. I need to find me a new poster girl.

So is your class the best lover?

Here’s the back story. Last Monday, I had watched something completely unexpected unfold before my eyes. Girl in front of me, on her Warlock, playing WoW. Saresa was fuming because I mentioned that Warlocks aren’t my type.

Big mistake.

She uses my own trademark list posts against me (score!) and provides 12 Reasons Why Warlocks are the Best Lovers.

So this begs the question.

Why is your class the best lover? Any amount, any reason. Feel free to comment it or (even better) blog about it. I think the Warlocks are covered. But maybe there’s a few extra features I don’t know about!

On another note, check back in about 5ish hours. That Sydera, I tell you, is one really ambitious blogger and when you see what she plans to open up with. All I can say is wow.

Priest Racial Changes: The Twitterati Reaction

by

Yes, that’s right! I called them the Twitterati! They’re my fellow WoW playing and tweeting homeys on Twitter. You’ve read Wyn’s reaction to the news. Here’s what the rest of the Twitterati had to say (Brackets is their blog, if applicable):

@eliah: One more in a long line of things removed in LK that Blizz has realized were a bad idea to begin with. “Hell, it’s about time.” (WoW Insider)

@Aylii: Sure. Imo, it was time they changed that, now you don’t have to roll a dwarf to be awesome. (Murloc Queen)

@danielwhitcomb: I think they’re awesome as hell. Sort of sucks that Chastise is gone, but so much <3 for baseline Devouring Plague and SoH. (WoW Insider)

@karlajean: liking that I’ll be getting Devouring Plague, but I wonder if this is a move to placate everyone else, not help the priests. also starting to think Koraa just hates shadowpriests (KarlaJean)

@ladydanotte: WoW moving towards cookie cutter classes. I kinda like idea of racials having slight advantages 4 game complexity & interest. (Lady Danotte)

@Doug_Williams: Its all about Blizz aiming toward homogenization, you don’t need to have a dwarf or drain-o, you can bring anyone you want.

@Medros: as a non priest, they never made sense to me. I don’t get a special bonus for being a human Paladin, NE Druid, or Draenei Paladin (All Things Azeroth)

@pikestaff: though I never played a priest I always thought the racials were a very unique and cool thing about them… sad to see them go. (Aspect of the Hare)

@shinmeko: Pros: Kept Symbol of Hope. Cons: Gave everyone else symbol of hope. Maybe this will shunt draenei disc priest monopoly howeva. (shinmeko)

@macanima: I hate this homogenization kick Blizzard is on. All the flavor of priests is identical now. We’re heading towards two classes: caster and hitter, with heal/harm and hit/prot trees. (macanima)

/end creative outgoing link exercise

BREAKING: Priest Racials Removed

by

“In an upcoming build all Priest racials have been retired, except the following:

Desperate Prayer – This is now the 11-point talent in Holy, Holy Nova is now a base ability. Cooldown also reduced to 30 seconds.

Devouring Plague – Now a base ability. Cooldown reduced to 30 seconds, mana cost greatly reduced.

Symbol of Hope – Now a base ability. Now restores 5% base mana every 2 seconds for 8 seconds to your party. Renamed “Hymn of Hope.”
While this change does reduce the “uniqueness” of different Priests, we feel game balance as a whole will benefit.

Note: These new “racials” are not racials, they are trainable to all Priests.”

Source: Blizzard Forums Blue Post 
Thanks to Ravageclaw for letting me know. Expect this news to filter out to the big sites momentarily (I’ve alerted them).

Thoughts? Initial reactions? I’m going to reserve judgement for the time being.

Myth busted: Canadian Chicks Play WoW

by

I know I’m soooo going to be asking for it and Wyn and Syd probably going to butcher me. I’m in my Psyc class and there’s a girl right in front of me playing WoW while the Prof is lecturing.

  • Looks like a 70 Warlock main
  • Enchanter
  • Has the ZA bag
  • Looks like the Mag Bag too
  • Has many alts
  • Alliance
  • Piling the IF AH with stuff

…Is it scary that I can tell that much information with just a simple and involuntary glance over her shoulder? Or am I just a really good stalker? It must be my Criminology training and eye to detail.

Yeah, thats it!