AFK Excuses

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Everyone has to go AFK at some point. It’s nearly impossible for most players to get up and stretch or walk around the house quickly or fix a drink during a five hour raid night. I have the kind of parents where I absolutely MUST eat dinner with them at the table and I have to step out of the raid for three minutes (six if its roast beef). No matter what the excuse is for going AFK, there is an art involved in it. Some people are best remembered for being awesome tanks. Some people are renowned for their Arena ability. The rest just have really darned memorable AFK excuses. I’ve said something that’ve made my Guildies blink twice and say what? Here’s my place to explain the story:

AFK BASEMENT FLOOD

I remember barking this one out a few months ago. My mom was telling me the basement was beginning to flood and my dad wasn’t home but he showed me how to cut the water in the event something like this happened. Thankfully, this was during a trash clear towards VR so my absence wasn’t notable nor significantly slowing down raid progress.

afk making rice

For some reason this one seems to draw a snicker. Doesn’t take that long to scoop out some rice, add water, and press a button *shrug*.

afk moving tv

I used this one last night. It was just after we took down Solarian. My Guildies were going… what? The story behind this one is that on Saturday, my Sony TV had some problems with it. There was power going into it but it seemed liked the cathode inside wasn’t displaying anything. There were no channels and the video 1/video 2 options weren’t appearing either. We thought that the TV suffered an internal combustion or something so we brought in a back up TV to replace the set and moved the Sony off the pedestal. So the next day, WHILE I’M RAIDING, my dad has the genius idea of plugging the Sony back into an outlet and turning it on again. Lo and behold, white noise ensues. Then he promptly asks me for help to switch the old set with the Sony. We’ve had the Sony for almost 15 years and I think it’s going to bite the dust. I just hope it lasts until Boxing Day.

%&#@ afk keyboard’s fried

I spilled beer on my keyboard. The game was going on a fritz. I was shooting off random spells and would constantly be in motion. I had to take a minute to switch out my Logitech with a $10 backup I had lying around. Times like this I’d be “oob” (out of beer). Take that as a lesson for all you aspiring WoW raiders out there. If anything can go wrong, it will. Always keep spare hardware on standby. You never know when you need an extra mouse, keyboard, or monitor.

Here’s some others that I’ve heard throughout my WoW career from other people

afk quick sex

Classic. I see this one happening all the time. Nine times out of ten it’s caused by people hitting the x key instead of the c. The other one time wasn’t a typo, apparently.

afk tornado

He did live in Kansas. In one of my past Guilds, if weather was going to be an issue an officer would have CNN turned or the weather page loaded and keyed it to the zip code of where that member was living.

afk smoke

I may not approve of it, but I understand some people having to light one up to calm their nerves down. But to light up one DURING a trash pull to Attumen, AFTER Attumen, and BEFORE Moroes within the time span of one hour? Give me a break!

afk gotta run to a store

A friend of mine used this almost all the time. It was always during an inopportune moment when we raided and he would be gone for thirty minutes at a time. COSTCO IS YOUR FRIEND!

brb wife aggro

This is another common one that has been floating around for a while. The game appeals widely to different players of all ages. It’s not weird to hear this one coming from various guys at some point during a raid because the wife would get pissed off at the player for playing too much WoW. C’mon guys! Need to farm that rep and get Exalted with the wife!

AFK wildfire

This one I heard happened a few weeks back. Good ol’ Socal.

The WoW Forums can be ever so entertaining. Check out these gems that I’ve found.

I was raiding with my guild, and suddenly 1 of the guys yells “Ill brb, someone threw a grenade inside my house!” seconds later we hear a boom, and then he goes afk. 2 minutes later he comes back “Stupid neighbours.. wont be throwing those again..”. There was silence for 7 minutes untill we got up to Hakkar. Funniest raid ever.

– Zakki, Darksorrow

Excuse.. plausible. But I must say, I would be rendered speechless if I heard that.

Actually, this one time my mate was in kara and I was watching.. He gets pissed and kind of throws his arms up in frustration; his wireless mouse flies across the room and goes through the open balcony door. Now the problem is, the balcony door has a safety “metal bar” door to keep out thiefs etc. since they live on the first floor. And the door is locked. He doesn’t have a key to it. So he spends 10-15 minutes trying to reach the mouse with 2 sticks etc. while I try to explain the situation to the raid. >.<

Mundus, Requiem

This is one of those freak accidents. I’m known for my temper. People in my Guild will testify that (Razer mouses are very resilient). I can’t say I’ve thrown my mouse out a window. By the way, this exact case is an excellent argument for why getting a wired mouse is better than a wireless.

I know there’s got to be some other excuses out there I haven’t heard of. Expect to see some more later on when I run into some from my Guildies or party members.

Matt’s Three Stars: Week Ending November 2, and some reader responses

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Welfare Epics and Loot Envy: I saw Gwaendar‘s post earlier this week and I knew immediately I had found the first star. The main point he is trying to get across is that the problem regarding “easy” access to epic arena loot isn’t in the process. It’s the attitudes of the player. I am inclined to agree wholeheartedly. I started Arenaing with Saphfira back in late june/early july (whenever S2 began) and I only just finished my S2 set two weeks ago. It was a constant struggle between scores as low as 1300 to highs nearly breaking the 2000 mark. I found it difficult to maintain that level of activity especially when there is a raid schedule to maintain. The loot between raiding and the rewards from arena are different. One is geared towards takedowns in raiding whereas the other is geared towards takedowns in PvP. But Blizzard has listened and in addition to accumulating arena points, each player must acquire a certain personal rating before they are allowed to purchase weapons (or the shoulder). We’ll see what kind of effect this has the moment the patch goes live which should be fairly soon. I’ve noticed the Blizzard downloader’s been active.

WoW Web Stats: Start here first. It’s a guide from Kirk regarding a tool that I have preached for a long time. I would argue it is better then any in game damage meter. Use it for your post raid analysis to help determine what went wrong. Once you’ve finished looking at that, refer to his post on using it for healing in raids. There isn’t much more for me to say as the rest has already been covered by the guy. Second star!

A blog post a day: The challenge has been issued. The battle lines have been drawn. A friend of mine from school informed me that November is National Novel Writing Month. Stephi has twisted the concept slightly and made it her goal to pump out 50000 words by the end of the month at a rate of ~1700 words per day. If I were not in school nor had other things to attend to (blogging, demon fragging, etc) I would gladly embrace this challenge. But as such, there is no way I can maintain that kind of a pace without something else in my life giving way. Next year, I will entertain the idea of participating in the novel writing month itself. The third star as well as good luck goes to Stephi!

I took two straight days off both on Friday and Saturday. Why? Because I’ve been busy chasing the dream of priests everywhere: to beat the living snot out of anything unholy. My Evoker is now level 19. I can’t imagine what life would be like had I rolled a different class. But my blog would definitely not be the way it is now.

I received a comment and an email that I wanted to respond to because it merited addressing on the main page.

Maladorous writes:

After reading this it seems your a priest that likes MP5. With 2.3 coming out and priest talent Meditation getting such a big boost what are you thoughts about spirit regeneration? Also the set bonus from the primal moon cloth set would put you at about 35% Regen while in the FSR. I think this is great and will put your Regen way up.

I drop my spell down as i get more +healing so that saves mana also so i get the +18 gems.

For the most part, I’ve refrained from commenting too much about 2.3 because what changes are can easily be reversed the next day rendering past thoughts on them irrelevant. I still think it’s too early to say. Spirit is definitely getting a huge boost. I’ll confess I don’t know the mathematics or the formulas behind it quite yet. Remember, as a Priest, we need to think situationally. It isn’t often that we are inactive for sessions longer than five seconds. If we are, then either we’re not doing our job or we have one hell of a tank. It’s also important to think long term and what it is you’ll be doing. In raid encounters, you NEED that mana per five. It’s a simple concept. Spells need mana. No mana means no heals which means the tank dies which means its game over. It’s not the size of the tank, it’s how fast the gas gets pumped into it. I didn’t spec Spirit of Redemption in my build (simply because I felt those seconds could best be used for running back into the instance). With the upcoming changes, I’ll need to take a closer look.

Bottom line: Nothing has changed. I still value MP5. Expect that to change as soon as more tests are done by my colleagues in that area. If there is empirical proof that Spirit is better then MP5, then I’ll make the necessary announcements.

Until then, keep hoarding Nightseyes. But if there’s cheap healing/spirit gems on your server, consider possibly investing in several and storing them in the bank. At worst, you can resell them back on the AH as their uncut selves. At best, you no longer need to worry about gems for a long time because you just committed grand theft jewelery on the AH. If you look up Talasite on WoW Econ and plot it for a 90-day chart, you’ll notice a spike in the price. I think that coincided with the time that patch 2.2 went live and Talasite was another option for arena players. Expect the price of Star of Elune to increase slightly. We may begin to see Purified Shadow Pearls in frequency as well. Guess those Naga’s have a use after all.

The above question is a great segue (did I spell that right?) into another question from another reader this time via email:

I’m a bit confused as to which is more important, my mana pool or my +healing. My guild (a social guild more than anything else) has just started raiding Kara, so we’re all barely geared enough for it. I have 1066 +healing and a mana pool of 9521. After looking at your gear list, I opted for Essence Focuser and the Nethering Spiritualist offhand, and am debating getting a +30 Int chant or Major healing on the mace. Some healer that’s supposed to be The Shit told an officer in my guild that my mana pool isn’t up to par, so that constructive (*cough*) criticism in mind, I’m hesitant about using the mace instead of Epoch Mender, since the Mender gives me +35 Int, I believe.

Your healing is a little low, but it meets the requirements. Your mana pool on the other hand is excellent. But there is one important question that you need to ask: How is my mana regeneration? Like I said in the previous post, it’s not the size of the mana pool that matters but how you use it. Encounters depend on your ability to heal. Your healability depends on how fast you get your mana. Sooner or later, cooldowns will catch up to you. Your Druid’s innervate will be burned. Your potions blown. Your Shaman’s Mana Tide deployed. Every trinket you have, used. At present, your MP5 is very low. I think that needs to be increased substantially (to at least 100+ while casting spells). Consider the 6 MP5 to chest, the application of the shoulder enchant, and the application of the head enchant. If you need to trade mana pool for mana regen, do it. Having 9.5k mana is a nice buffer in the opening stages, but you’ll burn out by the time you get down to 50% on Attumen. Remember to downrank your heals some to help alleviate the pressure.

I would also apply 81 healing to the mace. BUT, wait for a while first. The mats are expensive and you’ll want to use it on a weapon that will see action for a long time. See if you can farm the reputation for the Shatar and pick up the Gavel of Pure Light. Failing that, you can always roll the dice and attempt to pick up the Shard of the Virtuous from Maiden.

Good luck!

Remember, I’m only an email away. You can find it on the left pane of my blog (unlinked to scare off those pesky spam bots). Please, feel free to ask. If I can’t help you, I’ll direct you to someone who can.

One more topic of note for sunday. GMW’s post about speaking WoW in real life? That actually happened to me the other day. I was at school when one of my friend’s came up to me and asked what I had on the agenda for the next day:

Girl: Hows tomorrow look?
Me: Not much. No class until 230. Midterms are over. Papers are next week. Oh wait, I have a quest to do tomorrow.
Girl: *blink*
Me: What? Oh! Did I say quest? I mean quiz!
Girl: *sigh*

Ho hum.

The Ill-fated Group 2

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Ah the Group 2 problem. What a sad and illustrious history it has. It generally consisting of B-List raiders who do not appear to be as active or as skilled as Group 1 (yet). Back in the day (when Kara was THEE instance to run), Group 2 was like the middle sibling in the Guild. They would always be overshadowed by the elder group. Every week, Group 1 would continue to link their swag in Guild chat. Eventually, it comes to a point where Group 2 (or the reject group) feels demoralized without the desire to raid any more because they feel they aren’t “good enough”.

Would it be accurate to say that the above experience happens to all Guilds? No. But I suspect that it happens to most casual raiding Guilds (the hardcore raiding Guilds don’t have such a problem since they advance through Kara at roughly the same pace).

From what I’ve seen in the past, Group 1 consisted of the most keenest raiders who shot to 70 within a week or two, spent another week gearing up their characters, and then straight dove into Kara while the rest of the Guild lagged behind a littl bit because they were unable to keep up with that pace.

How do I deal with it?

As a Guild leader, you have several options. At this stage of a Guild, Karazhan is now on farm. But the problem with Group 2 needs to be isolated. It could range from insufficient gear, bad players, bad raid leader, etc. Personally, I think the main problem is that the Group sets their expectations way too high and consequently feels bad when they fail to meet them. You need to reassure them that your Group 1 did go through the same problems. They went through the very same frustrations as Group 2 has done.

Shuffle Players

Take a few core players from Group 1 and insert them and see if there is a marked improvement. Maybe the tank isn’t able to sustain that kind of damage. Maybe your healer isn’t capable of healing said damage. Maybe the DPS isn’t delivering. Ideally, instead of one overpowered group and one underpowered group, you’ll now have two equally powered groups with roughly the same skill and power set. Obviously, you can’t expect Prince or Nightbane shutouts immediately. It’ll still take some time. Lower Karazhan needs to be farmed sufficiently before Upper Karazhan be negotiated with (I consider lower Kara as every boss up to and including Chess except for Nightbane, Netherspite, and Illhoof).

Problem with that then is that the Group 1 players will feel a little pressure and frustration. All the hard bosses that they have farmed with ease now present a significant challenge. Zero-day Kara runs are no longer a possibility (Runs that are done in under a day I term as zero-day since it usually requires zero effort). It requires a lot of patience on the part of everyone. If all the players just grind through it and stick with it, then crosshair on Gruul will come next.

Large announcement coming later in the evening… stay tuned

Selling instances, and GH3

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Its 9 in the morning and I’m sitting at school and what do I see? Someone dressed as Borat walked right by me holding a mini flag. I think I need to get me some coffee.

Oh, there goes a power ranger.

I wonder if I’ll see any WoW themed characters today at school.

Anyway, on to today’s piece.

I think what we’re about to see is a trend towards selling instances to higher progressed Guilds. Carnage has begun such a practice.

Allow me to explain.

Carnage has cleared out 5/6 SSC and 3/4 TK. It’s only going to be a matter of time before we take down Vashj and Kael. Our last raiding day in the week is on Sunday. If we don’t get Vashj down, that still leaves a Monday free for other Guilds to come and take Vashj. There are a number of high end Guilds DOING Mt. Hyjal and Black Temple. Those two instances require attunement via killing Vashj and Kael. Since Carnage isn’t in position to kill them yet, we may as well allow other Guilds to take over the instance since they can’t be bothered to clear it out themselves. But as with every business deal, there is always conditions:

Holy crap, Optimus Prime just walked by.

  • The Guild must take one of our members in
    • Said members will be handpicked by Officers to fulfill a variety of roles (Healing, DPS, tanking, kiting, etc.)
  • Of the loot that drops, at least ONE piece must go to our players
    • That member will be docked DKP accordingly

Personally I think that’s a fair deal to make. This guarantees that our Guildies continue to get gear and learn the fight in a manner suited to their individual roles (while having to pay DKP accordingly). Likewise, the OP Guild that comes in can get any stragglers attuned without having to waste a raid night in SSC clearing out trash and bosses and focusing purely on the boss that matters: Vashj herself.

I’ve counted at least 15 witches so far. There goes a girl dressed as that lady matron from Adams Family.

Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock

I walked into EB Games (Gamestop for the rest of you) with the intent of purchasing Guitar Hero 3. To my horror, I was informed they were sold out. Luckily, there was a Walmart but 60 ft away. Strolled in there empty handed, walked out with Guitar Hero. After yesterday night’s raid, I rushed out to my Wii and started jamming away. What an AWESOME GAME (“Schooooool’s out… for… summer”)!

Borat did another lap around the school. Good grief.

Any other Guitar Heroes out there? Help me out here! When’s the best time for me to use my Star Power?

After class, I’m going to go pick me up a copy of Hellgate: London. With Guitar Hero in one hand, and Hellgate in the other, my WoW Burnout countermeasures are in full force.

Hmm, a girl dressed as a cat. Cute. Sadly, no Night Elves yet. WILL I EVER SEE A NIGHT ELF IRL?!

How to: Manage New Players and Loot

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I think it’s a fair assessment to say that most raiding Guilds have some kind of a trial procedure before a new player truly gets accepted. Complications arise when they raid begin to raid. Oh sure they’ve got the right to loot and all, but what about the guys that have worked on the boss for three weeks? Let’s back up for a second here and talk about trialing.

From the new player perspective

So you’re the new guy who is eager to prove yourself to the other members in the Guild. You might experience some difficulty breaking into the atmosphere. You’re a little shy and intimidated. After all here’s a Guild that doesn’t run Karazhan anymore, crushes Solarian, mops the floor with Leo, rides Al’ar like a pony, and turns Lurker into sushi. The only raiding experience you have is to your fridge at midnight. The first thing you need to do is relax. The second thing you need to do is to prove yourself worthy of being in such a Guild.

Different Guilds will have different methods of evaluating you as a player and as a person. A PvP Guild examines players based on how well they PvP. A raiding Guild examines players on their raiding performance. When you join a Guild initially, chances are you’re not “technically” in the Guild yet. But at the same time, you’re kind of “in” the Guild. It’s similar to hockey. Some players who don’t have contracts with various clubs will start by trying out with the clubs and seeing how well they fit in. That’s where you, the new guy, will be: in the Guild but not quite yet. Now the time period could range from a day to a month. Most tryouts would not involve you running in a five man or a heroic. Five man instances are vastly different from raid instances. If there happens to be a roster slot open for you, you’ll get thrown into the frying pan. The first time you raid with a new Guild will make or break your application. Because if you’re inactive or heaven forbid that you some how screw up somewhere, you will always be labelled as such a player. When I started doing Lurker a few months ago (gosh it’s been so long), I would consistently get blasted by his Spout because my computer’s frame rate was not high enough for me to compensate. It didn’t take long before other players old and new alike were told to not “pull a Mallet”.

Usually on first raids, most players will be quite forgiving. They’ll understand that it’s your first raid with them and they’ll be extra patient. But that extra patience will begin to wear thin. You need to stay extra focused and on your toes. Don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for clarification. Better a raid to spend an extra five minutes on explanations then thirty on wiping and dealing with trash respawns.

My trial experiences went something along the lines of this:

During my period with Angelic Advocates, I did not have the ability to speak in Guild chat (quite a nuisance by the way, don’t do that to new people). My trial run consisted of being thrown into a 40 man Raid group and completing BWL from start to finish. I was immediately promoted (with speaking privileges) the moment we downed Nefarion. Oddly enough, it was a Guild first (Six Priests and I was the only fear ward).

When I was trying out for Aurora, I was asked to step in and raid Karazhan at 11 PM. We downed Attumen on the first try and I was signed within days.

After a lengthy 20 minute interview with the recruiting officer for Carnage, I was invited on a trial basis. It took me several Gruul runs and a Magtheridon death before I was finally accepted with open arms.

My experiences all have one thing in common: perseverance. I’ve run into my share of players who would leave the Guild immediately if they wipe 12 times in Karazhan on a single night. If you can’t handle wiping in a minor instance like Karazhan, then there is not a chance you can handle raiding in a 25 man instance where raid wipes in the 20s are not uncommon. People seem to expect a free ride from high end raiding Guilds. I think that is one facet of the game that really annoys me.

The worse possible thing that can happen is that you and your potential new Guild just don’t mesh. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Nothing will stop you from hopping over to a new Guild and beginning the process anew.

From the Guild perspective

Here is one possible method for handling loot and new players. It’s going to work if you use a DKP system to help manage all the purples that drop. You can set a period of two or three weeks where players allowed to accumulate points but are not eligible to bid for or spend their points on loot. This is plausible if some players are in the negatives. However, if no one in the Raid needs that particular item, then the new player can exercise his option and ask for it. If you think about it, it’s kind of like a big giant “need before greed” situation. The rest of the Guild has option before it is then passed to the new player.

It’s up to every Guild member to make the new player at home and help him out a little bit if needed. You don’t need to give him your 30 Uber Fires and Uber Nethers for his Ubercloth set, but do help him out if he wants a small quest done or needs a mob killed. The point here is to encourage participation. If you’re doing dailies, ask him if they’ve done it yet. If you need an extra spot in a five man instance, go to the new player FIRST and see if they want in. Not only do you make the new player welcome, but you can subliminally see how that player performs and interacts with the Guild. All it takes is for one Guild member to say “Ubernoob said this to me and wouldn’t do this because he didn’t want to do it” and he is placed on the scrutiny list. I’ve seen cases where new players ask for help in running an instance and some Guild members say “sure, just a sec” and Ubernoob drops off the face of the planet leaving the Guild members hanging and scratching their heads wondering where he went (twice from what I’ve seen :O).

With this additional examination process, it allows more opportunities for Guild members to check out the Ubernoob. Guild Leaders who may not be around as often or don’t have the time to play with the Ubernoob can ask players who have had experience with him to report their thoughts. Leaders can then make judgments based on the type of information they receive which leads to one or two directions: Ubernoob is considered an asset and receives a nod or Ubernoob is a liability and is not what the Guild is looking for.

Finally, whatever decision that is made by the Officers should be respected and should not be second guessed. They usually have more information then Tony Raider and should be trusted to make the right decisions.